


I can't name things don't trust me

by ellioatmealthebisexual



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Chaos, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, i'm sorry kevin fans, maybe i'll add more tags when i'm less dead, my first published fic on ao3 :')
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:21:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27447778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellioatmealthebisexual/pseuds/ellioatmealthebisexual
Summary: What if Kevin was annoying and kind of evil? Oh that's canon? Er... have more of that, then. This still isn't canon-compliant, so don't let that fool you :)
Relationships: Carlos/Cecil Palmer
Kudos: 7





	I can't name things don't trust me

Carlos was listening to Cecil’s show while he did his work. It was something he did often. For one, the show was probably the most reliable news source in town. (although he would never tell Leann Hart that.) He also just liked hearing Cecil talk. He got concerned, though, when there was a loud sound, followed by a high-pitched noise from Cecil, followed by Cecil nervously taking everyone to the weather.

He grabbed his phone from the counter and quickly typed out ‘everything okay? you seemed panicked on the air…’ and waited for a response. About five minutes went by. Nothing. It wasn’t even read. The weather had cut off two minutes ago, and there had been a very long PSA about… well, Carlos didn’t know what it was about, but there had been a horrible screeching noise and the sounds of moths eating a blazer playing for the last two minutes, and he was pretty sure that was considered a PSA.

His team was watching him, waiting to see what he did next. He inhaled sharply, and switched into his outside lab coat, leaving the other one on its hook. “I’ll be back.” He said. The other scientists watched him as he walked out, and he heard Nilanjana awkwardly taking over.

When he arrived at the station, he found the doors open. They looked as if they had been brute-forced. It made logical sense. The locks had recently been switched to only accept the blood of approved beings. That made it all the more worrying. He closed the doors behind him and walked past the unsettlingly empty front desk. The intern had either fled or… Carlos hoped they had fled.

He walked to Cecil’s studio on autopilot and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Kevin. Cecil saw Carlos before his double did, though, and vaguely gestured for Carlos to run. “What are you looking at?” Kevin asked. His eyes followed Cecil’s, and when he saw Carlos, he dropped the radio host, who immediately scrambled over to Carlos. “Oh, Carlos! How nice for you to drop in.”

“What the hell are you doing, Kevin?” Carlos asked, glancing at the strange double for a moment before looking back at Cecil. Cecil smiled at him, apparently ignoring the fact that he was bleeding. Carlos felt anger rising up inside of him and did his best to push it down. He smiled back at Cecil. It quickly fell back into a serious frown, but it got the point across.

“Just coming to see what you’d been up to since you left.”

“By… attacking my boyfriend?” Carlos didn’t seem convinced by Kevin’s answer, and Kevin simply shrugged.

“I knew you’d come see me if he--” Kevin gestured at Cecil-- “was in danger. And, clearly, I was right.”

“You can’t just… threaten someone anytime you want to talk to me.”

“Can’t I?” The way Kevin grinned almost made Carlos shiver. The scientist was, already, tired of this. 

“Fuck off, Kevin.” It was simple and harsh, but it got to the point. Kevin flinched. Carlos would analyze that interaction later, but he wasn’t paying attention to Kevin’s feelings at the moment. He didn’t care about Kevin’s feelings in general, he realized. He would be very shocked by this development later, but in the moment he wasn’t.

Kevin recovered quickly. “Now, is that the way to treat an old friend?”

“You’re not my friend.”

“Then what am I?”

“Some strange, twisted man that lives in the dimension that was my prison for te- a year.” He caught his mistake quickly, but one glance over at Cecil told him that the host had caught it quicker. _‘Damn it,’_ he thought.

Kevin raised an eyebrow. “A year? That’s wildly incorrect.” Cecil, bless him, looked endlessly confused. Carlos let out a sharp exhale.

“Carlos?” Cecil asked, confusion evident in his voice. Carlos, of course, turned to Cecil, giving him his full attention. “What does he mean? What do you mean?”

Carlos frowned. He looked at Kevin and then back at Cecil. “I’ll explain later.”

“No, no,” said Kevin. “I want to see this.”

“I wasn’t aware that this was a play for you to watch,” Carlos snapped back. He looked at Cecil, who simply shook his head.

“Later,” he agreed. He looked over at the soundboard, apparently realizing that the same PSA had been playing for the past… however long it had been. He clicked a button, switching the broadcast to the next ad: deafening silence, sponsored by Beats. “I’m going to run out of ads to play at some point.”

Carlos looked at Kevin and paused. Some of his sense seemed to come back to him, and he simply said, “Secret police?” Some secret police officer came out of the shadows. “This guy is supposed to be in the dog park.”

The officer paused. “The dog park is off lim-” they cut themself off as they realized who Kevin was. They spoke into their radio for a few moments and soon there was a crowd of officers swarming the small studio. They took up Kevin and took him off to the dog park.

Carlos sighed. He took Cecil to the station break room, where they found the front desk attendant, and grabbed the station first aid kit. It was _technically_ one of Carlos’s lab’s first aid kits, but it had been donated to the station when Carlos realized that the station first aid kit was a literal Pandora’s box.

After patching up Cecil effectively, he went back to his lab. He got there and continued on with his work like nothing had happened. He was listening to Cecil recount what had happened and vaguely wonder what Kevin meant and ignoring his team’s questions about it.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the lack of quality and for any grammatical mistakes! I have no excuse other than that I cannot make myself read back through this. It's midnight and I want to go to bed.


End file.
